When does “mummyness” kick in?

Lately I have been wondering when does the ‘mummy’ skills kick in? You know the ones that not only your mum but your friends mums and then your grandmothers all have in the bag? Even some of my friends have acquired these skills when they entered the world of motherhood but I seem to be lacking in them.

I legitimately thought that they would start once your first is around 1. I figured this age because you tend to have found your feet, feeling confident and looking at producing more humans (well I was already 5 months pregnant by Noah’s first birthday). However I am 4 humans deep into motherhood and I don’t feel anymore ‘mummy’ than I did when I started…
Here is a list of things I am wondering when they will start. Please feel free to offer some advice and possible stages when they may begin to occur;

  1. Making your own recipes and never forgetting them. I am shit in this department. My husband bakes and cooks better than I do. Yet growing up my mum had a jar of hand written recipes (most of which she made up and knew by heart). When will my children get these charming memories?
  2. On that note. Having a famous meal that every kid knows you make the best of. My mum’s is lasagna and these biscuits called ‘monkey faces’. I actually hated them after a while but they were great for trading at school. (I still love mums lasagna and tuna mornay though)
  3. Being able to fold a fitted sheet. Surely with the zillion cot sheets I have in my house I should have nailed this skill. I haven’t. I still roll them into a ball and throw them into the linen press. My mum will fold them for me when i am not watching. She can’t stand it.                                       
  4. Cleaning the bathroom to make every inch sparkle. Yep I hate this chore. Hate it. Passionately. I have not known a mother that isn’t a great cleaner. Especially the bathroom.
  5. This leads me to vacuuming under the couch. Again my mum does this for me.
  6. Know the answers to everything. Noah is already stumping me with questions and he is 4. Thank god for the internet when he starts school.
  7. Ironing. My friends and I always had ironed clothing. Yet I haven’t used an iron in approximately 8 years.
  8. Giving your children shit haircuts and then claiming “you requested it” and not feeling guilty about it.
  9. Always knowing how to swaddle no matter how long its been since their last baby. Again this never happened for me. Thank the lord for Love to Dream swaddles. Pre-made swaddles all the way my friends.
  10. A flip phone case. Jokes. I never want to get that “mummy”. However how many mums do you seeing lining up to get their smashed phone screen fixed? Not that many.
  11. Last by not least. The short mum hair. I love this look. I love a pixie cut too which only models or mums can pull off. I know this because this one I tried when Noah was a baby. I ended up looking like a troll followed by Billy-Ray Cyrus until my mullet was long enough to be a pony tail. The mum bun however I have nailed. Only because I am lazy though.


Actually in writing these I just clicked that they make me sound lazy.  However I think they are some legitimate skills that you acquire once you have a child enter the house and maybe I have just missed the boat? Please tell me I am not alone with atleast some of these….


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